I'm not that tired...and my windows are clean

April 27, 2017

Here's a word of advice for you, stop telling anyone they look "so tired!"  Unhelpful.  I have a lot of stresses in my life, sometimes my kids keep me up because they are scared, sick, sleeping diagonal across me, and sometimes my kids are gone on their visit and then I don't sleep well because I'm anxious for their return and the house is too quiet.  Sometimes I sleep 10 hours like a log and wake up feeling amazing.  But someone usually comments that I look so tired and I want to scream. Sometimes I take that extra 10 minutes in the morning to apply under eye cream, concealer, foundation, some mascara, even a swipe of lipstick and I feel amazing but then I look "so tired" and I think forget it CoverGirl, we aren't fooling anyone apparently.  Never tell someone they look tired or pregnant, there, public service announcement complete.

On that note my kids are gone for their visit and it's quiet around here.  Work has been insane so the days have been long and busy, the perfect timing actually.  Meals are quick things I pull together knowing there's no pressure to prepare anything big and elaborate for just me.  Evenings are mine to catch up on Netflix, take long uninterrupted showers, lounge on the couch reading, it truly is my own schedule again.  I've been gutting their rooms and making some changes, rearranging some furniture, building a few projects, and indulging in Harlequin romances and diary free ice cream.

I've been out to see a concert, had lunch out, some coffee dates, road trips, lobsters, dinners with friends, nights curled up on the couch joking and laughing with my friend.  I have a wonderful seminar to go to Sunday where I don't have to worry about child care so lots of things to fill my time. I even moved my sons tv down into my room and surprisingly I don't hate it.
 
I miss them though.  The phone calls in the evenings are like little knives in my heart as I hear their voices chirping away about school, being the helper, having a loose tooth, and all the other things they are filling their days with.  I miss them like crazy.

My house cleaner came so the floors shine, the kitchen table is clutter free, I had no idea my sink sparkled like that, and numerous times I thought the windows were open but turns out they are just clean.  The bathroom never has toilet paper on the floor, it's always flushed, toothpaste stays in the tube not the sink, and the amount of laundry that has been piling up is minimal in comparison.  I can see now just how much clutter, grime, mess, and disaster those little beings bring to my home....and I miss it.
cuddled in bed watching documentaries at night

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