This week I was contacted about an incredible job opportunity in Calgary, AB that fit exactly what I would love to do with my Social Work degree.  It gives me the chance to work with marginalized individuals, discuss finances, see change, and most excitingly I get to teach.  I loved the opportunity, the salary, the benefits, the location and so I bit the bullet and I accepted the job.  I also accepted the tiny margin of time I need to get from NL to AB and the fact that I have to have a judge agree because X doesn't seem keen on me leaving the East Coast.

So suffice it to say that I am a little overwhelmed, a little stressed, really, really excited, and also weary that I am going to lose this opportunity waiting for X and the courts to make the decision BUT

this is a random Pinterest photo that I found and which very visually represents me right now

In the meantime I am de-cluttering what I can, feeling completely lost in the prospect of what has to happen in 24 hours, and carrying around a huge secret that I can't spill to the kids in case this all falls apart.  It's a lot of information swirling around in my brain, yet despite all the hard work and nail biting stress my heart and my head scream YES.  This feels like the right move for my family and I've learned to trust myself and my gut reactions.

I'm taking this time to control what I can control.  I've found a renter if I go, I've enrolled the kids in a Calgary school so I know there are spots for them, I've put out my feelers for afterschool care, I've researched what car to lease, and I have a place to live in Calgary.  All little things that give me a sense of accomplishment and like I can mentally check off things as I go. 

I'm not sure where the chips will fall on this job, whatever will be will be, but this is the first step in deciding that I want more and I need more options to provide for my family, it's something I'll keep pursuing if this one time it's not meant to be.