I allowed myself to travel.  I've always loved to travel and always had the travel bug.  Growing up my family detested it so we never went further than 4 hours from our house.  As soon as I met X and we were in a career where travel was possible I began my dream travel boards.  Being awarded thousands of free dollars to go places excited me but alas he dictated our travel plans and my dreams of California, Ireland, Hawaii, New York, were replaced by selfish and indulgent trips again just hours from our door that he planned with his mistress and dragged my damaged self along on for show.  

When I was free I immediately began the task of preparing myself to travel alone.  Knowing the kids would be gone for chunks of time, I wanted to get myself to a place where being alone, navigating travel, and investing the money felt natural and guilt free.  I've only done small trips but I've gone to Toronto and Calgary completely alone and count those two trips as the most loving things I've ever done for myself.  It was another step in healing, another moment of growth, a time to de-stress, and another chance to feel free and unrestricted in my ability and choices.