31 days of self love - day 6
September 17, 2017
Oh, this is a big one. I'm working on it slowly but it's a good reminder. I need to forgive myself for the person I was in my past. For being weak, for being taken advantage of, and for being led into doing things I hated and things I knew were not me. I turned meek, mild, I hurt my family and some friends. Most of all I let someone abuse me and I let them humiliate me while I essentially helped them do it. I understand now through therapy how abuse works and how it snuck up on me, but I still hate that I was such a weak person and I hate the stuff I let happen. I hate that I did not voice my anger, I hate that this person held so much power over me. But I have to forgive myself for that, realize that once I was free I made amends and I worked hard on myself. I put myself back together and made myself stronger and better. Yet still, I have trouble forgiving myself for screwing up my life because I feel ripped off of being a wonderful wife and partner and having my kids raised in a non-broken home and I still blame myself for picking the guy who ruined it all.
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